.jpg)
(phorb)
(un-named 1, un-named 2..and harry, and his awkward bulge, his words, not mine)
(my favourite..................................Harry's favourite)
(franky catching the rays in his usual hangout, 2nd step)
Kent.
There is actually nothing so nice as a whistle-stop, spontaneous trip home. especially at this time of year, when Kent just looks so beautiful. i actually beamed on my way home this evening when i found myself following a badger for half a mile up the road.
Word. (1.)
QUIXOTic
[kwik-sot-ic]
-adjective.
1.resembling or befitting Don Quixote
2.extravagantly chivalrous or romantic; visionary, impractical or impracticable
3.impulsive and often rashly unpredictable
Some definitions of quixotic further add that a person who is quixotic is impulsive, capricious, or a dreamer of impossible dreams, as per the Man of La Mancha song. Further a quixotic person might have no regard for money, and might be an elaborate spender or eschew the riches of the world.
To be quixotic, i believe, is enviable. to not be tied down by the oppression of reality. although i am obviously not quixotic as i can't help but think that those who are will one day be quite disappointed. or perhaps not. on a good day i would like to call myself quixotic, as surely to be so, is just to be optimistic and hopeful. there can't be anything wrong with believing in a utopian way of living can there really?
(wes anderson is quixotic and i can't wait for fantastic mr fox.)
[kwik-sot-ic]
-adjective.
1.resembling or befitting Don Quixote
2.extravagantly chivalrous or romantic; visionary, impractical or impracticable
3.impulsive and often rashly unpredictable
Some definitions of quixotic further add that a person who is quixotic is impulsive, capricious, or a dreamer of impossible dreams, as per the Man of La Mancha song. Further a quixotic person might have no regard for money, and might be an elaborate spender or eschew the riches of the world.
To be quixotic, i believe, is enviable. to not be tied down by the oppression of reality. although i am obviously not quixotic as i can't help but think that those who are will one day be quite disappointed. or perhaps not. on a good day i would like to call myself quixotic, as surely to be so, is just to be optimistic and hopeful. there can't be anything wrong with believing in a utopian way of living can there really?
(wes anderson is quixotic and i can't wait for fantastic mr fox.)
recent happenings and events have bitten quite a large chunk out of my confidence, i never had much confidence to speak out to, or within a large group of people; i often find myself slightly repressed, or anxious to say how i really feel..more so when something negative happens within my life..i find it difficult to talk to people, or really vent how i'm feeling, unless i have established some kind of trust.
at the moment i am taking an incredible 'performing shakespeare' module, entirely by default, my haphazardness with computers is entirely to blame, meaning, i basically picked the wrong course. however, this appears to have sprung to my advantage, opening new doors onto new experiences that my timidity would never usually allow me to follow as it were. i struggle quite a lot with this class, it is not within my nature as an english-man, or just in general, to run around hugging strangers or to become immediate 'bezzies' with people i have only just met. but within this class, it is fine, no..essential.. to put all reservedness and doubts aside and to embrace anything liberal that one possibly possesses. our task this week was to memorise a sonnet for recital, and being one stumbling girl (with a recent tendancy to stutter) this prospect frightened me incredibly. despite my desire to go in to the class and forget my bumbling ways, when one lover of reading and watching, not performing, shakespeare enters a class of budding thesps, it is hard to not feel pressurised to put false feeling and confidence into things. basically, it is obvious that i lack the mighty confidence that many of my class possess. however, my very kindly and understanding teacher noticed my hesitation, and instead of forcing me to get on with it...he had me turn my back on the class of 20 whilst they pressed right up against me, so close that i could feel them breathing, whilst my partner (also learning the same sonnet) held my hand. and where before i stumbled over my lines, tripped over words, and forgot key words, i found myself filled with a new confidence, and recited, nay, performed my sonnet with a certain enthusiasm which i never believed myself capable of...following which, i was able to turn around and perform the sonnet again facing my peers and looking each one clearly and steadfastly in the eye.. the whole purpose of this excersise my teacher said, 'was to encourage me to learn that with support of friends or peers, one is able to express themselves, without feelings of repression, and to just let go and be yourself with confidence.'
this i believe to be a valuable lesson, without the feeling that those you care about are holding your hand, or have your back, it is hard to acheive much. this is why i'm glad to have friends who will support me in my grievances, or wierd opinions and ideas, so that one day i can turn back round and support myself with confidence.
bit cheesy, but a nice feeling none-the-less.
at the moment i am taking an incredible 'performing shakespeare' module, entirely by default, my haphazardness with computers is entirely to blame, meaning, i basically picked the wrong course. however, this appears to have sprung to my advantage, opening new doors onto new experiences that my timidity would never usually allow me to follow as it were. i struggle quite a lot with this class, it is not within my nature as an english-man, or just in general, to run around hugging strangers or to become immediate 'bezzies' with people i have only just met. but within this class, it is fine, no..essential.. to put all reservedness and doubts aside and to embrace anything liberal that one possibly possesses. our task this week was to memorise a sonnet for recital, and being one stumbling girl (with a recent tendancy to stutter) this prospect frightened me incredibly. despite my desire to go in to the class and forget my bumbling ways, when one lover of reading and watching, not performing, shakespeare enters a class of budding thesps, it is hard to not feel pressurised to put false feeling and confidence into things. basically, it is obvious that i lack the mighty confidence that many of my class possess. however, my very kindly and understanding teacher noticed my hesitation, and instead of forcing me to get on with it...he had me turn my back on the class of 20 whilst they pressed right up against me, so close that i could feel them breathing, whilst my partner (also learning the same sonnet) held my hand. and where before i stumbled over my lines, tripped over words, and forgot key words, i found myself filled with a new confidence, and recited, nay, performed my sonnet with a certain enthusiasm which i never believed myself capable of...following which, i was able to turn around and perform the sonnet again facing my peers and looking each one clearly and steadfastly in the eye.. the whole purpose of this excersise my teacher said, 'was to encourage me to learn that with support of friends or peers, one is able to express themselves, without feelings of repression, and to just let go and be yourself with confidence.'
this i believe to be a valuable lesson, without the feeling that those you care about are holding your hand, or have your back, it is hard to acheive much. this is why i'm glad to have friends who will support me in my grievances, or wierd opinions and ideas, so that one day i can turn back round and support myself with confidence.
bit cheesy, but a nice feeling none-the-less.
Playlist.
1.Train Song - Feist and Ben Gibbard
2.Amazing Grace - Cat Power and Dirty Delta Blues
3.Methamphetamine - Son Volt
4.Lenin - Arcade Fire
5.El Caporal - My Morning Jacket.
6.Kind Words from the Broken Hearted - The Cribs
7.Evergreen - Ryan Adams and the Cardinals
8.Quiet Houses - Fleet Foxes
9.Gentle Hour - Yo La Tengo
10.Country Mile - Camera Obscura
2.Amazing Grace - Cat Power and Dirty Delta Blues
3.Methamphetamine - Son Volt
4.Lenin - Arcade Fire
5.El Caporal - My Morning Jacket.
6.Kind Words from the Broken Hearted - The Cribs
7.Evergreen - Ryan Adams and the Cardinals
8.Quiet Houses - Fleet Foxes
9.Gentle Hour - Yo La Tengo
10.Country Mile - Camera Obscura
Yes Please.
as i wandered home from a particulary wine-fuelled evening last week, i couldn't help but think how negative i have become recently. or not even recently if i'm being honest. not about everything, or everyone..just a general lack of enthusiasm regarding certain pursuits, mainly..anything youthful. it was then that i thought of an article i recently read, something to do with universities having become commercial entities (i think was the phrase used) in which the old qualities of student life which were so revered in the past, are disintegrating quicker and faster. where are the gig posters, socialist workers, left-wing idealists etc.etc?. i thought about this, and more and more it dawned on me, that perhaps i had, in my aforementioned lack of enthusiasm joined ranks with the people who i always slightly judge; those who remain only within a 'michrocosm of a wider commercially obsessed' world.
i'm not sure i'm really ready for forming a band, or dyeing my hair blue and purple just to make a statement. i think the point is more, experimentation. trying new things to see if they stick/fit. being a 'yes' man, rather than a 'hmm...maybe, but i'll probably flake' man. let's see how it goes.
Things I have said yes to this week that perhaps i wouldn't have done last week:
-auditioning for the university play (i went bright red and stuttered my way through it-needless to say, i didn't get a call back, but i had a good laugh at myself anyway)
-working at Durham book festival (i'm actually really excited about this, i get to attend an evening based around new york poetry and music, focusing especially on leonard cohen, for free!)
-going 'out, out' on wednesday night..i made about 3 new friends, 2 of whom i'll probably talk to again.
-writing for the student paper.
-working in a soup kitchen. (i start in 2 weeks)
this is more like it. i'm having heaps more fun, and infact, i feel like my confidence is on the rise. finally.
i'm not sure i'm really ready for forming a band, or dyeing my hair blue and purple just to make a statement. i think the point is more, experimentation. trying new things to see if they stick/fit. being a 'yes' man, rather than a 'hmm...maybe, but i'll probably flake' man. let's see how it goes.
Things I have said yes to this week that perhaps i wouldn't have done last week:
-auditioning for the university play (i went bright red and stuttered my way through it-needless to say, i didn't get a call back, but i had a good laugh at myself anyway)
-working at Durham book festival (i'm actually really excited about this, i get to attend an evening based around new york poetry and music, focusing especially on leonard cohen, for free!)
-going 'out, out' on wednesday night..i made about 3 new friends, 2 of whom i'll probably talk to again.
-writing for the student paper.
-working in a soup kitchen. (i start in 2 weeks)
this is more like it. i'm having heaps more fun, and infact, i feel like my confidence is on the rise. finally.
my name should be Earl
one of these days, karma is going to come round and throw me a frickin' big bone.
I have been thinking a lot recently about lieing and liars. So much, that I have written down countless notes on the subject, and following my usual train of thought writing techniques, have had to spend some time sifting through my views and ideas to come up with anything, or something that means anything..to me anyway.
Everyone lies. whether it is merely an exaggeration of reality to make ourselves appear better to others, or just spinning a general web to hide ourselves from the truth.
The only real thing I have to say on the subject (after a sickening realisation, that I and everyone else tells casual lies from time to time) is that I genuinely feel great sadness for those who feel they must cover up who they are/where they are/what they are doing to those they love the most. They must feel so lonely within their lies, as they pull the wool thicker and tighter around those who know them the least..they must be blinding themselves also..but do they know it? To lie is the most self-destructive path you can take..there is always someone who must know the truth. As important as having secrets, and secret keeping is, someone always loves you enough to know the truth.
Despite a great reluctance to place all cards face up on the table, I believe this can be the most gratifying action for some people. Everyone must have some qualities they can be proud of, and some which they cannot be proud of, but the idea of having friends that don't or wouldn't take me/you, for who you/I am is destroying. and should be removed immediately.
Everyone lies. whether it is merely an exaggeration of reality to make ourselves appear better to others, or just spinning a general web to hide ourselves from the truth.
The only real thing I have to say on the subject (after a sickening realisation, that I and everyone else tells casual lies from time to time) is that I genuinely feel great sadness for those who feel they must cover up who they are/where they are/what they are doing to those they love the most. They must feel so lonely within their lies, as they pull the wool thicker and tighter around those who know them the least..they must be blinding themselves also..but do they know it? To lie is the most self-destructive path you can take..there is always someone who must know the truth. As important as having secrets, and secret keeping is, someone always loves you enough to know the truth.
Despite a great reluctance to place all cards face up on the table, I believe this can be the most gratifying action for some people. Everyone must have some qualities they can be proud of, and some which they cannot be proud of, but the idea of having friends that don't or wouldn't take me/you, for who you/I am is destroying. and should be removed immediately.
sometimes being bored is the most fantastic and desirable thing to be. i am devoting my day to being bored in the nicest possible way.
things i have done today:
things i have done today:
- Had a big warm bubble bath with my love duck and The Book Thief
- Laid on my bed and listened to Ryan Adams whilst thinking of nothing in particular
- Written imaginary letters, yet not actually put pen to paper
- Painted my nails, lathered myself in cocoa butter and snuggled in my byu blanket
- Read the paper with a cup of tea and a sandwich.
things i will do today:
- Put on my lazy clothes and watch a good film.
- Read The Book Thief some more
- Tea, Tea, Tea
- go to work
Listen up you.
The Harder They Come - Willie Nelson feat. Ryan Adams
Wild Child - Lou Reed
Hey There, Mrs Lovely - Ryan Adams
Other Towns & Cities - Camera Obscura
Carry On - J.J Cale
Our Bovine Public - The Cribs
Transmission - Joy Division
Wild Child - Lou Reed
Hey There, Mrs Lovely - Ryan Adams
Other Towns & Cities - Camera Obscura
Carry On - J.J Cale
Our Bovine Public - The Cribs
Transmission - Joy Division
whatever.
I miss so many people and so many things. I wish I could be surrounded by them all the time, but I don't think I could replace all those good times. So it's probably best to just get on with it and be glad that those people still exist somewhere.
6 things that have made me happy this week:
- Kind words and box of swiss miss (my favourite 'ho-cho' in the world) from Lauren. I know technically this was last week, but I re-read the letter today and sipped swiss miss and was again touched.
- Notting Hill - Not because it's funny, or because Hugh Grant is cute, but because it gives me hope that Ryan Gosling/Ryan Adams/Conor Oberst/Johnny Depp might walk into my work place one day and find my stammering English-ness endearing, fall head over heels, walk me through a park, give me a painting and confess his/their love. we would live happily ever after.
- Going to the Doctors - sometimes it is all you need to have a kind, but indifferent stranger confirming what you already know and telling you point-blank what to do about it. refreshing.
- Walking.
- http://www.thesatorialist.blogspot.com/ ... i especially love the stylish old men and the Europeans on their bikes. I firstly would love a new bike, and secondly, would love somewhere stylish to ride it. one day i will live in Paris.
- 'Man on Wire' - this documentary is truly wonderful, and I would recommend to anyone who needs uplifitng. watch it. Phillipe Petit is the most enigmatic and inspiring story teller. his acheivements have really lifted my spirits this week, plus, the documentary itself is just perfect.
If anyone needs a good book to read, i really recomment 'The Road' by Jack Kerouac.
I have only just started making my way through a large pile of American literature, and i love the american dream theme running through many of them; the sense of adventure, and need to live an exciting and fulfilled life is overwhelmingly uplifting compared to the safe, s'tay-at-home eating pie and drinking hearty ale' feeling, that many English novels seem to centre around.
This novel, and the last i read, 'POPism' by andy warhol, both make me wish I were part of a great movement, but nothing much exciting seems to be happening these days, i wonder if in the future people will say, 'what was it like to be part of the i-pod, or facebook generation?' as they zip around in their space cars. one day soon i WILL get off facebook and go in search of something new, if only it were made easy and the beat movement was now, or i had a full tank of petrol and somewhere fun to go.
Anyone want to embark on an adventure? I'm in desperate need of some inceredibly inspirational fun, so that later in life I don't remember my youth as being spent thinking, not doing.
I have only just started making my way through a large pile of American literature, and i love the american dream theme running through many of them; the sense of adventure, and need to live an exciting and fulfilled life is overwhelmingly uplifting compared to the safe, s'tay-at-home eating pie and drinking hearty ale' feeling, that many English novels seem to centre around.
This novel, and the last i read, 'POPism' by andy warhol, both make me wish I were part of a great movement, but nothing much exciting seems to be happening these days, i wonder if in the future people will say, 'what was it like to be part of the i-pod, or facebook generation?' as they zip around in their space cars. one day soon i WILL get off facebook and go in search of something new, if only it were made easy and the beat movement was now, or i had a full tank of petrol and somewhere fun to go.
Anyone want to embark on an adventure? I'm in desperate need of some inceredibly inspirational fun, so that later in life I don't remember my youth as being spent thinking, not doing.
What am I doing?
Reading: Mrs Dalloway, Andy Warhol Treasures and The Curious Case of Benjamin Button and Six Other Stories.Watching: No Direction Home, Brideshead Revisited and The F Word.
Listening to: Blonde on Blonde
Looking forward to: Paris, Bob Dylan at the NPG, A holiday in the Lake District.
Wishing for: Sun and good post.
Sadly my old friend Holly has lost her arduous battle with cancer, despite her ever-uplifting, positive spirit and enigmatic nature. She will be greatly missed by everyone, she was a great inspiration to all and I will cherish my memories with great fondness and always with great joy.5th May 2008 - Santiago, Chile
'Today I met with Holly Eatwell in BellaVista, the more 'bohemian' area of Santiago, after a couple of quite rubbishy days ( getting my wallet stolen, getting lost, getting over a very hideous bout of food poising or whatever ) the thought of seeing a familiar face was so comforting and Holly's big grin and wild stories of joining the circus and salsa dancing until 5am soon helped me forget my previous angst. We went for a walk, often stopping to take photos along the way, 'my new thing is to photograph everything..I used to be too shy to stop people and ask them to take my photo, or to take photos of things in front of people, but i have realised that I want to remember everything' - wise words Holly! In BellaVista, we met a friend of Holly's, Arthur, we sat and drank South American beer in a bar on the side of the street, gradually being joined by friends, strangers, travellers, all sorts. We tried to practice our Spanish, but as the beer kept and kept and kept keeping onn coming, eventually the only word we could say clearly enough was 'bocadillo'...so we were whisked away to some pretty dodgy sandwhich place, where im pretty sure we inhaled what I can only remember to be something green - avacado perhaps?- and slightly moist. It was then, at 2.30 am, I remembered that actually I had a flight to Peru at 5.30 and in a mad panic rushed back to a hotel (obviously escorted by Holly and entourage) where I actually fell asleep on the sofa, rather than finding a room for an hour, before getting in a taxi with no money and having to run away. darn hollys adventurous influences!'
(at which point I must have fallen asleep-again)
with love.
xo
How I wish this incessant drizzle would give in, although it has brought with it that marvellous melancholy of missing something whilst being in its midst. I miss the sun in the heart of summer. It's a sad and strange feeling to miss someone or something whilst in their or its company, but appreciation is an underrated and underacheived thing often only brought on by a lacking. shame.
Dear World,
I have not written, or received a letter in an alarmingly long time, I find this greatly saddening. should anyone wish to make me a very happy girl; notes, letters, postcards, one-liners are always gratefully received and cherished, and will be responded to immediately.
Yours, Alice. xo
I have not written, or received a letter in an alarmingly long time, I find this greatly saddening. should anyone wish to make me a very happy girl; notes, letters, postcards, one-liners are always gratefully received and cherished, and will be responded to immediately.
Yours, Alice. xo
Spindlewood, Stream Lane, Hawkhurst, Kent TN18 4RB
delish.
..In celebration of my pervy relationship with food, and Christian's love for Gordon Ramsay, last night we cooked this tasty treat:
http://www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/3946/prawn-and-pea-risotto
Gordon would have been proud.. try it out if you're hungry!
'summers here'
xo.
http://www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/3946/prawn-and-pea-risotto
Gordon would have been proud.. try it out if you're hungry!
'summers here'
xo.
twoddle.
..so i havn't blogged for a while, in fact I had to be reminded I even had a blog..which then made miss it. I don't even have anything in particular to say, so here is a blog for the sake of blogging.
after reading my last post, i can happily cross 'In Between the Sheets' and 'Brideshead Revisited' from my list of books to read this summer. 'In Between the Sheets' was slightly disappointing..I mostly find short stories are; the more I get into them, the more I wish they were longer, however, this book did make me feel a bit naughty, like I should be concealing it with another book. If we could only read aloud, I wonder if people would have thought me slightly perveted? however, this is what I like about Ian McEwan stories, they push the boundaries of taboo subjects, and make the socially awkward the norm. I like this point of view very much.
& i just love love love Brideshead, in all its Englishness, Am currently sat watching the Jeremy Irons adaptation for television & it sets the scene wonderfully, whilst keeping the beauty (and it is beautiful) language of the novel.
On holiday, I also managed to get through Gael Garcia Marquez's 'One Hundred Years of Solitude' - reminded me very much of Isabel Allende's style of writing & if they are a representation of all south american authors, then I highly recommend getting your head stuck in. Although fictional, i really wished this novel could be true, for all its romanticism and magical imagery. even an inbred infant being carried away and devoured by ants seems somewhat romantic when placed in context with the novel. if anyone asks for a novel recommendation, this is the one I would pick right now.
however, i'm about to make a start on mrs dalloway, so things may change..
after reading my last post, i can happily cross 'In Between the Sheets' and 'Brideshead Revisited' from my list of books to read this summer. 'In Between the Sheets' was slightly disappointing..I mostly find short stories are; the more I get into them, the more I wish they were longer, however, this book did make me feel a bit naughty, like I should be concealing it with another book. If we could only read aloud, I wonder if people would have thought me slightly perveted? however, this is what I like about Ian McEwan stories, they push the boundaries of taboo subjects, and make the socially awkward the norm. I like this point of view very much.
& i just love love love Brideshead, in all its Englishness, Am currently sat watching the Jeremy Irons adaptation for television & it sets the scene wonderfully, whilst keeping the beauty (and it is beautiful) language of the novel.
On holiday, I also managed to get through Gael Garcia Marquez's 'One Hundred Years of Solitude' - reminded me very much of Isabel Allende's style of writing & if they are a representation of all south american authors, then I highly recommend getting your head stuck in. Although fictional, i really wished this novel could be true, for all its romanticism and magical imagery. even an inbred infant being carried away and devoured by ants seems somewhat romantic when placed in context with the novel. if anyone asks for a novel recommendation, this is the one I would pick right now.
however, i'm about to make a start on mrs dalloway, so things may change..
Having finished my exams, and consequentally having nothing to do, I decided to take some time out to be by myself for some time. It is so easy to become dependant on other people as a means of entertainment and in doing so lose your sense of self a little; often I find myself saying things, or doing things that after spending time alone, I realise I regret or havn't actually meant. I am a great believer in not being able to force people to do things they don't really want to do, but don't always apply these thoughts to myself; I suppose I am easily influenced, or just determined to not disappoint.So today I took myself off to the Shipley Gallery in Gateshead, for the '70 years of Penguin Design' exhibition.
(http://www.twmuseums.org.uk/shipley/thingstoseeanddo/exhibition/70-years-of-penguin-design/)
This was a fantastic exhibition, melancholic in its highlighting of the demise of the passion and love involved in creating book lovers, but inspirational in Penguin's love for literature.
This was a fantastic exhibition, melancholic in its highlighting of the demise of the passion and love involved in creating book lovers, but inspirational in Penguin's love for literature.
Studying English Literature is more arduous than I anticipated. The 2-3 book per week target has often made me feel a slight sense of dread or begrudgement when it comes to reading; the joy of reading is often not wholly there when constricted to a time limit, or given set tasks surrounding the book, often it becomes hard to be inspired to create your own opinions.
This exhibition has made me glad that the summer is here, so I can rekindle old loves, and read out of choice again.
Books to Read this summer:
-In Between the Sheets - Ian McEwan
-The Satanic Verses- Salman Rushdie
-Brideshead Revisited-Evenlyn Waugh
-POPism-Andy Warhol and Pat Hackett
-Mrs Dalloway-Virginia Woolf
My 'alone time' reminded me of the great poem by John Ashbery 'My Philosophy of Life' which I believe expresses the importance of taking everything as it is...'the experience of experience' (as he would call it)..enjoying and appreciating not just certain moments and thoughts, but all the inbetween things, the thought processes and trains of thought that derail us, but can often lead to more wonderful things.
Here it is:
My Philosophy of Life
Just when I thought there wasn't room enough
for another thought in my head, I had this great idea-
-call it a philosophy of life, if you will.Briefly,
it involved living the way philosophers live,
according to a set of principles. OK, but which ones?
That was the hardest part, I admit, but I had a
kind of dark foreknowledge of what it would be like.
Everything, from eating watermelon or going to the bathroom
or just standing on a subway platform, lost in thought
for a few minutes, or worrying about rain forests,
would be affected, or more precisely, inflected
by my new attitude.I wouldn't be preachy,
or worry about children and old people, except
in the general way prescribed by our clockwork universe.
Instead I'd sort of let things be what they are
while injecting them with the serum of the new moral climate
I thought I'd stumbled into, as a stranger
accidentally presses against a panel and a bookcase slides back,
revealing a winding staircase with greenish light
somewhere down below, and he automatically steps inside
and the bookcase slides shut, as is customary on such occasions.
At once a fragrance overwhelms him--not saffron, not lavender,
but something in between.He thinks of cushions, like the one
his uncle's Boston bull terrier used to lie on watching him
quizzically, pointed ear-tips folded over. And then the great rush
is on.Not a single idea emerges from it.It's enough
to disgust you with thought.But then you remember something
William James
wrote in some book of his you never read--it was fine, it had the
fineness,
the powder of life dusted over it, by chance, of course, yet
still looking
for evidence of fingerprints. Someone had handled it
even before he formulated it, though the thought was his and
his alone.It's fine, in summer, to visit the seashore.
There are lots of little trips to be made.
A grove of fledgling aspens welcomes the traveler.Nearby
are the public toilets where weary pilgrims have carved
their names and addresses, and perhaps messages as well,
messages to the world, as they sat
and thought about what they'd do after using the toilet
and washing their hands at the sink, prior to stepping out
into the open again.Had they been coaxed in by principles,
and were their words philosophy, of however crude a sort?
I confess I can move no farther along this train of thought
--something's blocking it. Something I'm
not big enough to see over.Or maybe I'm frankly scared.
What was the matter with how I acted before?
But maybe I can come up with a compromise--I'll let
things be what they are, sort of.In the autumn I'll put up jellies
and preserves, against the winter cold and futility,
and that will be a human thing, and intelligent as well.
I won't be embarrassed by my friends' dumb remarks,
or even my own, though admittedly that's the hardest part,
as when you are in a crowded theater and something you say
riles the spectator in front of you, who doesn't even like the idea
of two people near him talking together. Well he's
got to be flushed out so the hunters can have a crack at him--
this thing works both ways, you know. You can't always
be worrying about others and keeping track of yourself
at the same time.That would be abusive, and about as much fun
as attending the wedding of two people you don't know.
Still, there's a lot of fun to be had in the gaps between ideas.
That's what they're made for!Now I want you to go out there
and enjoy yourself, and yes, enjoy your philosophy of life, too.
They don't come along every day. Look out!There's a big one...
John Ashbery
'Hwoet!'
my quote of the day:
'so..basically...jankyn is the male counterpart of the feminist stereotype?!..'
my education hasn't gone to waste! I am bookmarking that moment as the highlight of my intelect. and it will go in my exam tomorrow regardless of what the question is!
i am the epitome of cramming.
'so..basically...jankyn is the male counterpart of the feminist stereotype?!..'
my education hasn't gone to waste! I am bookmarking that moment as the highlight of my intelect. and it will go in my exam tomorrow regardless of what the question is!
i am the epitome of cramming.
A Birthday to remember:
new outfit, blindfolded trip to Azzuri, 'SURPRISE' :(tearful Alice), delicious meal (seafood risotto) great company, excitement to see Gina & Charles, CAKE (bad speech from me, better one from Georgie), walk to Flynns, trebles, walk to Stero, dance, play, chat, laugh, walk to taxi rank, home and in bed by 4.3oam, up at 8, walk to metro, metro to airport, pick up christian, metro back to town, bread&cheese from the market, walk back through park, hang out, have lunch, have a nap, watch gordon ramsay, walk into town, castle keep, quayside, film seagulls, walk back, glass of wine/corona, meet luc, go to pub, corona, bye luc, pizza express, my favourite padana pizza, walk to the crown pasada, meet izi, beautiful copy of alice in wonderland, walk home through park-scary, watch gordon ramsay, fall asleep, hug, wake up, my birthday! open cards, open presents, love my hampers, plane tickets!, pretty topshop things, my favourite, walk into town, buy m&S sandwiches, picnic in the park, sun shines for my bday, champagne, ducklings, go home, open more presents, hug, bear grylls, walk into town, frappacino, bye christian, walk back, talk to milly, harvest lucy's grapes (!) talk to the family, cake and presents with the girls, sweeties! hire stepmom, watch stepmom, bottle of wine, shower, read book, bed!
perfect.
new outfit, blindfolded trip to Azzuri, 'SURPRISE' :(tearful Alice), delicious meal (seafood risotto) great company, excitement to see Gina & Charles, CAKE (bad speech from me, better one from Georgie), walk to Flynns, trebles, walk to Stero, dance, play, chat, laugh, walk to taxi rank, home and in bed by 4.3oam, up at 8, walk to metro, metro to airport, pick up christian, metro back to town, bread&cheese from the market, walk back through park, hang out, have lunch, have a nap, watch gordon ramsay, walk into town, castle keep, quayside, film seagulls, walk back, glass of wine/corona, meet luc, go to pub, corona, bye luc, pizza express, my favourite padana pizza, walk to the crown pasada, meet izi, beautiful copy of alice in wonderland, walk home through park-scary, watch gordon ramsay, fall asleep, hug, wake up, my birthday! open cards, open presents, love my hampers, plane tickets!, pretty topshop things, my favourite, walk into town, buy m&S sandwiches, picnic in the park, sun shines for my bday, champagne, ducklings, go home, open more presents, hug, bear grylls, walk into town, frappacino, bye christian, walk back, talk to milly, harvest lucy's grapes (!) talk to the family, cake and presents with the girls, sweeties! hire stepmom, watch stepmom, bottle of wine, shower, read book, bed!
perfect.
01.05.09
..lack of blogging largely due to lack of activity. have just been living and breathing really; concentrating all my writing energy onto the mountains of work i have stacked up...not cool. the sun is shining anyway, so am heading outside to top up the remaining fake tan from the WAG ball with actual sun. x
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