More Treat than Trick

Ryan Gosling's new project/band 'Dead Man's Bones' is one i love. Just in time for Halloween. Not only do i think Ryan Gosling is excessively cool...I think the idea of him and his best mate 'rounding up a bunch of instruments-some of which they don't know how to play-and a massive children's choir and making a concept albulm about the supernatural' is also incredible.

'The pair bonded over a shared obsession with scary stuff like ghosts, monsters, and zombies, and set out to create a spooky musical theater production, "a Gene Kelly, Fred Astaire kind of show," as Gosling described it. Somewhere along the way, the "theater production" aspect of it fell to the wayside, but the songs remained. '

-what's not to love? Ryan Gosling...good/fun music and an inspired DIY project.

Have a look for yourself here!

-oh, with fun artwork too.

-little bit in love

<3

Word.(2)

ENIGMAtic
[en-ig-mat-ik]
-adjective
1.resembling an enigma; perplexing; mysterious

Synonyms: puzzling, baffling, cryptic, ambiguous.

An enigmatic person: One whose actions are difficult to understand, or hard to predict.  usually a quiet, introverted person about whom no-one knows very much. (tip of the ice-berg, that kinda thing.. sometmes i grow tired of trying to figure out these kinds of people-but ultimately..i love them the best, because they can't be worked out..due to their enigmatic nature.)

'The only people for me are the mad ones' - Jack Kerouac.

i live here.

Kent.

There is actually nothing so nice as a whistle-stop, spontaneous trip home. especially at this time of year, when Kent just looks so beautiful. i actually beamed on my way home this evening when i found myself following a badger for half a mile up the road.

(phorb)

(un-named 1, un-named 2..and harry, and his awkward bulge, his words, not mine)

  

                  (my favourite..................................Harry's favourite)

(franky catching the rays in his usual hangout, 2nd step)

Word. (1.)

QUIXOTic
[kwik-sot-ic]
-adjective.
1.resembling or befitting Don Quixote
2.extravagantly chivalrous or romantic; visionary, impractical or impracticable
3.impulsive and often rashly unpredictable

Some definitions of quixotic further add that a person who is quixotic is impulsive, capricious, or a dreamer of impossible dreams, as per the Man of La Mancha song. Further a quixotic person might have no regard for money, and might be an elaborate spender or eschew the riches of the world.

To be quixotic, i believe, is enviable. to not be tied down by the oppression of reality. although i am obviously not quixotic as i can't help but think that those who are will one day be quite disappointed. or perhaps not. on a good day i would like to call myself quixotic, as surely to be so, is just to be optimistic and hopeful. there can't be anything wrong with believing in a utopian way of living can there really?

(wes anderson is quixotic and i can't wait for fantastic mr fox.)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C1ZV-alFRmc

this just made me cry with laughter, 5 times later, im still crying.

I would like to be this happy all the time.

recent happenings and events have bitten quite a large chunk out of my confidence, i never had much confidence to speak out to, or within a large group of people; i often find myself slightly repressed, or anxious to say how i really feel..more so when something negative happens within my life..i find it difficult to talk to people, or really vent how i'm feeling, unless i have established some kind of trust.
at the moment i am taking an incredible 'performing shakespeare' module, entirely by default, my haphazardness with computers is entirely to blame, meaning, i basically picked the wrong course. however, this appears to have sprung to my advantage, opening new doors onto new experiences that my timidity would never usually allow me to follow as it were. i struggle quite a lot with this class, it is not within my nature as an english-man, or just in general, to run around hugging strangers or to become immediate 'bezzies' with people i have only just met. but within this class, it is fine, no..essential.. to put all reservedness and doubts aside and to embrace anything liberal that one possibly possesses. our task this week was to memorise a sonnet for recital, and being one stumbling girl (with a recent tendancy to stutter) this prospect frightened me incredibly. despite my desire to go in to the class and forget my bumbling ways, when one lover of reading and watching, not performing, shakespeare enters a class of budding thesps, it is hard to not feel pressurised to put false feeling and confidence into things. basically, it is obvious that i lack the mighty confidence that many of my class possess. however, my very kindly and understanding teacher noticed my hesitation, and instead of forcing me to get on with it...he had me turn my back on the class of 20 whilst they pressed right up against me, so close that i could feel them breathing, whilst my partner (also learning the same sonnet) held my hand. and where before i stumbled over my lines, tripped over words, and forgot key words, i found myself filled with a new confidence, and recited, nay, performed my sonnet with a certain enthusiasm which i never believed myself capable of...following which, i was able to turn around and perform the sonnet again facing my peers and looking each one clearly and steadfastly in the eye.. the whole purpose of this excersise my teacher said, 'was to encourage me to learn that with support of friends or peers, one is able to express themselves, without feelings of repression, and to just let go and be yourself with confidence.'
this i believe to be a valuable lesson, without the feeling that those you care about are holding your hand, or have your back, it is hard to acheive much. this is why i'm glad to have friends who will support me in my grievances, or wierd opinions and ideas, so that one day i can turn back round and support myself with confidence.
bit cheesy, but a nice feeling none-the-less.

www.youtube.com/oddysseymusic

I am so proud of my friend wobble (jonny), he will do big things and we have nice chats when i drive him home.

Playlist.

1.Train Song - Feist and Ben Gibbard
2.Amazing Grace - Cat Power and Dirty Delta Blues
3.Methamphetamine - Son Volt
4.Lenin - Arcade Fire
5.El Caporal - My Morning Jacket.
6.Kind Words from the Broken Hearted - The Cribs
7.Evergreen - Ryan Adams and the Cardinals
8.Quiet Houses - Fleet Foxes
9.Gentle Hour - Yo La Tengo
10.Country Mile - Camera Obscura

Yes Please.

as i wandered home from a particulary wine-fuelled evening last week, i couldn't help but think how negative i have become recently. or not even recently if i'm being honest. not about everything, or everyone..just a general lack of enthusiasm regarding certain pursuits, mainly..anything youthful. it was then that i thought of an article i recently read, something to do with universities having become commercial entities (i think was the phrase used) in which the old qualities of student life which were so revered in the past, are disintegrating quicker and faster. where are the gig posters, socialist workers, left-wing idealists etc.etc?. i thought about this, and more and more it dawned on me, that perhaps i had, in my aforementioned lack of enthusiasm joined ranks with the people who i always slightly judge; those who remain only within a 'michrocosm of a wider commercially obsessed' world.
i'm not sure i'm really ready for forming a band, or dyeing my hair blue and purple just to make a statement. i think the point is more, experimentation. trying new things to see if they stick/fit. being a 'yes' man, rather than a 'hmm...maybe, but i'll probably flake' man. let's see how it goes.

Things I have said yes to this week that perhaps i wouldn't have done last week:

-auditioning for the university play (i went bright red and stuttered my way through it-needless to say, i didn't get a call back, but i had a good laugh at myself anyway)

-working at Durham book festival (i'm actually really excited about this, i get to attend an evening based around new york poetry and music, focusing especially on leonard cohen, for free!)

-going 'out, out' on wednesday night..i made about 3 new friends, 2 of whom i'll probably talk to again.

-writing for the student paper.

-working in a soup kitchen. (i start in 2 weeks)

this is more like it. i'm having heaps more fun, and infact, i feel like my confidence is on the rise. finally.

'if i were to marry a vegetable, i'd probably marry a sweet potato. but then, i'd find it really hard to be faithful'

-probably the most profound thought i've had today. god i need to get some education in my brain.

(which i just realised i spelled 'brian' by accident. all time low.)

I miss my dog an insane amount.

110 Manor House Road

My new, slightly lived in, messy home.

my name should be Earl

one of these days, karma is going to come round and throw me a frickin' big bone.

I have been thinking a lot recently about lieing and liars. So much, that I have written down countless notes on the subject, and following my usual train of thought writing techniques, have had to spend some time sifting through my views and ideas to come up with anything, or something that means anything..to me anyway.
Everyone lies. whether it is merely an exaggeration of reality to make ourselves appear better to others, or just spinning a general web to hide ourselves from the truth.
The only real thing I have to say on the subject (after a sickening realisation, that I and everyone else tells casual lies from time to time) is that I genuinely feel great sadness for those who feel they must cover up who they are/where they are/what they are doing to those they love the most. They must feel so lonely within their lies, as they pull the wool thicker and tighter around those who know them the least..they must be blinding themselves also..but do they know it? To lie is the most self-destructive path you can take..there is always someone who must know the truth. As important as having secrets, and secret keeping is, someone always loves you enough to know the truth.
Despite a great reluctance to place all cards face up on the table, I believe this can be the most gratifying action for some people. Everyone must have some qualities they can be proud of, and some which they cannot be proud of, but the idea of having friends that don't or wouldn't take me/you, for who you/I am is destroying. and should be removed immediately.

sometimes being bored is the most fantastic and desirable thing to be. i am devoting my day to being bored in the nicest possible way.

things i have done today:

• Had a big warm bubble bath with my love duck and The Book Thief
• Laid on my bed and listened to Ryan Adams whilst thinking of nothing in particular
• Written imaginary letters, yet not actually put pen to paper
• Painted my nails, lathered myself in cocoa butter and snuggled in my byu blanket
• Read the paper with a cup of tea and a sandwich.

things i will do today:

• Put on my lazy clothes and watch a good film.
• Read The Book Thief some more
• Tea, Tea, Tea
• go to work

Listen up you.

The Harder They Come - Willie Nelson feat. Ryan Adams
Wild Child - Lou Reed
Hey There, Mrs Lovely - Ryan Adams
Other Towns & Cities - Camera Obscura
Carry On - J.J Cale
Our Bovine Public - The Cribs
Transmission - Joy Division

Saying goodbye to friends is the hardest thing to do. I often wish that things could, and would always stay the same, or an improved, fantastical version of the same. but it would be incredibly sad to never grow up. and I'm proud to be learning this, even though in the hardest way possible.

whatever.

I miss so many people and so many things. I wish I could be surrounded by them all the time, but I don't think I could replace all those good times. So it's probably best to just get on with it and be glad that those people still exist somewhere.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gLqP2K8ILJE

sneak preview.

I am so grateful for funny people.

work in progress

un jour j'espère que je rêve en français

6 things that have made me happy this week:

1. Kind words and box of swiss miss (my favourite 'ho-cho' in the world) from Lauren. I know technically this was last week, but I re-read the letter today and sipped swiss miss and was again touched.
2. Notting Hill - Not because it's funny, or because Hugh Grant is cute, but because it gives me hope that Ryan Gosling/Ryan Adams/Conor Oberst/Johnny Depp might walk into my work place one day and find my stammering English-ness endearing, fall head over heels, walk me through a park, give me a painting and confess his/their love. we would live happily ever after.
3. Going to the Doctors - sometimes it is all you need to have a kind, but indifferent stranger confirming what you already know and telling you point-blank what to do about it. refreshing.
4. Walking.
5. http://www.thesatorialist.blogspot.com/ ... i especially love the stylish old men and the Europeans on their bikes. I firstly would love a new bike, and secondly, would love somewhere stylish to ride it. one day i will live in Paris.
6. 'Man on Wire' - this documentary is truly wonderful, and I would recommend to anyone who needs uplifitng. watch it. Phillipe Petit is the most enigmatic and inspiring story teller. his acheivements have really lifted my spirits this week, plus, the documentary itself is just perfect.

sunday walking

me and my 'gay best friend'

Real Moments

my favourite from the collection. (liverpool 1966.)

This music video came on as a trailer at the cinema this eve, and it's just incredible. i am nowhere near Coldplay's biggest fan. but i love this.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ecUNOtq62Ks

youtube does NOT do it justice.

If anyone needs a good book to read, i really recomment 'The Road' by Jack Kerouac.

I have only just started making my way through a large pile of American literature, and i love the american dream theme running through many of them; the sense of adventure, and need to live an exciting and fulfilled life is overwhelmingly uplifting compared to the safe, s'tay-at-home eating pie and drinking hearty ale' feeling, that many English novels seem to centre around.

This novel, and the last i read, 'POPism' by andy warhol, both make me wish I were part of a great movement, but nothing much exciting seems to be happening these days, i wonder if in the future people will say, 'what was it like to be part of the i-pod, or facebook generation?' as they zip around in their space cars. one day soon i WILL get off facebook and go in search of something new, if only it were made easy and the beat movement was now, or i had a full tank of petrol and somewhere fun to go.

Anyone want to embark on an adventure? I'm in desperate need of some inceredibly inspirational fun, so that later in life I don't remember my youth as being spent thinking, not doing.

A few holiday snaps

(remind me to take a photography course!)

my handsome brother

pretty cold and wet (and chubby-faced)

the art of getting your foot into a wellington boot

Dishing out the raisins

Secret supply.

money actually does grow on trees.

..more to follow...

Sometimes I miss looking out the window of a tiny box and seeing the city.

What am I doing?

Reading: Mrs Dalloway, Andy Warhol Treasures and The Curious Case of Benjamin Button and Six Other Stories.

Watching: No Direction Home, Brideshead Revisited and The F Word.

Listening to: Blonde on Blonde

Looking forward to: Paris, Bob Dylan at the NPG, A holiday in the Lake District.

Wishing for: Sun and good post.

Sadly my old friend Holly has lost her arduous battle with cancer, despite her ever-uplifting, positive spirit and enigmatic nature. She will be greatly missed by everyone, she was a great inspiration to all and I will cherish my memories with great fondness and always with great joy.

5th May 2008 - Santiago, Chile

'Today I met with Holly Eatwell in BellaVista, the more 'bohemian' area of Santiago, after a couple of quite rubbishy days ( getting my wallet stolen, getting lost, getting over a very hideous bout of food poising or whatever ) the thought of seeing a familiar face was so comforting and Holly's big grin and wild stories of joining the circus and salsa dancing until 5am soon helped me forget my previous angst. We went for a walk, often stopping to take photos along the way, 'my new thing is to photograph everything..I used to be too shy to stop people and ask them to take my photo, or to take photos of things in front of people, but i have realised that I want to remember everything' - wise words Holly! In BellaVista, we met a friend of Holly's, Arthur, we sat and drank South American beer in a bar on the side of the street, gradually being joined by friends, strangers, travellers, all sorts. We tried to practice our Spanish, but as the beer kept and kept and kept keeping onn coming, eventually the only word we could say clearly enough was 'bocadillo'...so we were whisked away to some pretty dodgy sandwhich place, where im pretty sure we inhaled what I can only remember to be something green - avacado perhaps?- and slightly moist. It was then, at 2.30 am, I remembered that actually I had a flight to Peru at 5.30 and in a mad panic rushed back to a hotel (obviously escorted by Holly and entourage) where I actually fell asleep on the sofa, rather than finding a room for an hour, before getting in a taxi with no money and having to run away. darn hollys adventurous influences!'

(at which point I must have fallen asleep-again)

with love.

xo

How I wish this incessant drizzle would give in, although it has brought with it that marvellous melancholy of missing something whilst being in its midst. I miss the sun in the heart of summer. It's a sad and strange feeling to miss someone or something whilst in their or its company, but appreciation is an underrated and underacheived thing often only brought on by a lacking. shame.

Dear World,
I have not written, or received a letter in an alarmingly long time, I find this greatly saddening. should anyone wish to make me a very happy girl; notes, letters, postcards, one-liners are always gratefully received and cherished, and will be responded to immediately.
Yours, Alice. xo

Spindlewood, Stream Lane, Hawkhurst, Kent TN18 4RB

roll over beethoven

(what a joy he was tonight)

delish.

..In celebration of my pervy relationship with food, and Christian's love for Gordon Ramsay, last night we cooked this tasty treat:

http://www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/3946/prawn-and-pea-risotto

Gordon would have been proud.. try it out if you're hungry!

'summers here'

xo.

twoddle.

..so i havn't blogged for a while, in fact I had to be reminded I even had a blog..which then made miss it. I don't even have anything in particular to say, so here is a blog for the sake of blogging.



after reading my last post, i can happily cross 'In Between the Sheets' and 'Brideshead Revisited' from my list of books to read this summer. 'In Between the Sheets' was slightly disappointing..I mostly find short stories are; the more I get into them, the more I wish they were longer, however, this book did make me feel a bit naughty, like I should be concealing it with another book. If we could only read aloud, I wonder if people would have thought me slightly perveted? however, this is what I like about Ian McEwan stories, they push the boundaries of taboo subjects, and make the socially awkward the norm. I like this point of view very much.

& i just love love love Brideshead, in all its Englishness, Am currently sat watching the Jeremy Irons adaptation for television & it sets the scene wonderfully, whilst keeping the beauty (and it is beautiful) language of the novel.

On holiday, I also managed to get through Gael Garcia Marquez's 'One Hundred Years of Solitude' - reminded me very much of Isabel Allende's style of writing & if they are a representation of all south american authors, then I highly recommend getting your head stuck in. Although fictional, i really wished this novel could be true, for all its romanticism and magical imagery. even an inbred infant being carried away and devoured by ants seems somewhat romantic when placed in context with the novel. if anyone asks for a novel recommendation, this is the one I would pick right now.

however, i'm about to make a start on mrs dalloway, so things may change..