my personal favourite.

2005.

(i think this was taken with a disposable camera.)

nostalgia.

I will never believe anyone that doesn't wish
they would always be 16.
(pictures i found poking through old
photobucket albulms&2 from Christian's mummy)

Retrospectively.

I am an idiot. i wish i had never done a lot of things, like obssess and therefore ruin things for other people. at the time it seemed like a great idea .end of really. however now i shall obssess over how to make up for being so idiotic and send imaginary parcels and pretend messages to anyone who i have been an idiot too. if only i had the cash to send real ones. or the nerve. yeesh. oh good obssessing again.

oh and..what shall i do next? anyone who is up for a good old chat about what i really want to do/where i want to go, i'd appreciate it greatly. ta.

say cheese

if being 'cool' means having money. i am one heck of a loser. although there is probably no amount of money that would make me cool. even if i used it to buy 'cool' friends i would always be a tea sipping loser who laughs at words in the thesaurus.

laughing; breezy, in spirits, in a good humour, unrepining, optimistic, hopeful, bouyant, resilient, irrepressible, carefree, light-hearted, debonair; bouncing, pert, jaunty, perky, chirpy, spirited, sprightly, vivacious, animated, vital, sparkling etc.

point proven?

RND 2009

i love red nose day. if it is true that barely any of the money raised actually gets to the charities (after funding, costs, governments etc) then at least it raises awareness and everyone is irreversably happy for an evening. i dont believe i'm patriotic, but rnd is one of my favourite evenings on the english calender so to speak& im proud to pay £1 for piece of plastic and some stickers if it makes me happy believing that it makes a difference.

Wrong.

I take back everything and anything I ever said about chivalry. broad daylight and some chav with a pram and a baby just shouted 'hey sexy' at me. men are pigs.


smallprint: Christian you are exempt from this.I like when you open the car door for me to get in. you are charming, not a pig.

Alice's adventures in the theatre

This morning, in yet another attempt to try something different (ps. usually doesnt work out, have decided im not MAD enough..this is a private joke with myself&my friend, about my lack of spontaneity-proven here by my organising of doing different things...its all very catch-22..and baffles me, let alone anyone else) I sauntered along to a director's workshop at the Theatre Royal, for the hit political drama Gethsemane. Little did I know, we would have to stage a small production of the first scene for the director(someone high up in The National in London), using our finest acting skills, and an imaginary budget. wait what's that? acting skills. yes, precisely. And were the other people professional actors? i should think so. Needless to say, once the production was over, i scuttled out of there pretty fast. but not without buying a ticket for tonight's real performance. perhaps I'll be able to provide some valuable tips to the real cast. yeesh.

Having a coke with you

is even more fun than going to San Sebastian, Irún, Hendaye, Biarritz, Bayonne
or being sick to my stomach on the Travesera de Gracia in Barcelona
partly because in your orange shirt you look like a better happier St. Sebastian
partly because of my love for you, partly because of your love for yoghurt
partly because of the fluorescent orange tulips around the birches
partly because of the secrecy our smiles take on before people and statuary
it is hard to believe when I’m with you that there can be anything as still
as solemn as unpleasantly definitive as statuary when right in front of it
in the warm New York 4 o’clock light we are drifting back and forth
between each other like a tree breathing through its spectacles
and the portrait show seems to have no faces in it at all, just paint
you suddenly wonder why in the world anyone ever did them
I look
at you and I would rather look at you than all the portraits in the world
except possibly for the Polish Rider occasionally and anyway it’s in the Frick
which thank heavens you haven’t gone to yet so we can go together the first time
and the fact that you move so beautifully more or less takes care of Futurism
just as at home I never think of the Nude Descending a Staircase or
at a rehearsal a single drawing of Leonardo or Michelangelo that used to wow me
and what good does all the research of the Impressionists do them
when they never got the right person to stand near the tree when the sun sank
or for that matter Marino Marini when he didn’t pick the rider as carefully
as the horse
it seems they were all cheated of some marvellous experience
which is not going to go wasted on me which is why I’m telling you about it

-I really enjoy this Frank O'Hara poem.

Sundays

Sundays have become my favourite day of the week, perfect for doing nothing and everything all in one. This morning I took a trip to the flea market, it's amazing how the minute the train moved out of the city centre & into the rural/coastal area of Newcastle, my mood changed completely. Someone yesterday described me as 'inwardly jolly' or 'jolly in a quiet way' & all of a sudden I became one of those overly joyous people, who i often complain about.

Having said this, I'm glad to be back to my previous quiet and content state, with my new purchase of a 1950's publication of 'Little Women' and 'Good Wives' and a cup of tea. Louisa M Alcott-you know where it's at. If only 'awful' was still an awful thing to say, and a good pair of gloves was a girl's major worry. Life would be sweet.

-Doesn't she look cosy on my shelf? 'Pretentious-moi?'

feminist? no way..

Last night, out, someone approached me and asked if he 'may have the next dance'. granted he had a beard and was holding a triple vodka red bull, (here I add I politely declined) but still, (and I know this sounds like a desperate grab at something) its nice to know that chivalry and politeness may not be dead.

holiday weekend

1 x 4am train home
1 x new haircut and lunch with Mum
1 x reunion with Christian (Fawlty Towers & G&T)
1 x reunion with Harry (broken back & new dog)
1 x The Big Lebowski & sleepover with Christian
1 x trying to convince the dog to walk around the fields
1 x nap on the sofa
1 x trip to The Bull
1 x Sunday lunch (yum)
1 x rest of The Big Lebowski (fell asleep halfway through before)
1 x goodbye to Christian (surprisingly undramatic-i must be maturing)
1 x full nights sleep in a comfy bed
1 x road trip and visit to Lakeside with Mum (1 x new waistcoat)
1 x plane journey to Newcastle

= I love home.