Yes Please.

as i wandered home from a particulary wine-fuelled evening last week, i couldn't help but think how negative i have become recently. or not even recently if i'm being honest. not about everything, or everyone..just a general lack of enthusiasm regarding certain pursuits, mainly..anything youthful. it was then that i thought of an article i recently read, something to do with universities having become commercial entities (i think was the phrase used) in which the old qualities of student life which were so revered in the past, are disintegrating quicker and faster. where are the gig posters, socialist workers, left-wing idealists etc.etc?. i thought about this, and more and more it dawned on me, that perhaps i had, in my aforementioned lack of enthusiasm joined ranks with the people who i always slightly judge; those who remain only within a 'michrocosm of a wider commercially obsessed' world.
i'm not sure i'm really ready for forming a band, or dyeing my hair blue and purple just to make a statement. i think the point is more, experimentation. trying new things to see if they stick/fit. being a 'yes' man, rather than a 'hmm...maybe, but i'll probably flake' man. let's see how it goes.

Things I have said yes to this week that perhaps i wouldn't have done last week:

-auditioning for the university play (i went bright red and stuttered my way through it-needless to say, i didn't get a call back, but i had a good laugh at myself anyway)

-working at Durham book festival (i'm actually really excited about this, i get to attend an evening based around new york poetry and music, focusing especially on leonard cohen, for free!)

-going 'out, out' on wednesday night..i made about 3 new friends, 2 of whom i'll probably talk to again.

-writing for the student paper.

-working in a soup kitchen. (i start in 2 weeks)

this is more like it. i'm having heaps more fun, and infact, i feel like my confidence is on the rise. finally.